One of my top five strengths is “learner,” so, it’s not surprising that when I ran across this book it almost leapt off the shelves and into my arms. During that bitterly cold March evening, I read it cover to cover, sitting by the fire.

Why in the world did I pull it out again during the 90 degree dog days of summer? A very astute client mentioned in conversation how important it is to know what you don’t know, and, those two words so close together came alive for the second time.

It could have been the 100 degree difference, but I found three new ah-has in the hammock during round two, good enough I decided to share. The author, Michael Roberto, a professor at the Harvard Business School and a strong proponent of the case method of study (focused on problem solving) offers an added twist for great leadership, suggesting we need to be problem finders, first.

My take:

1. Problems don’t hide themselves.  Fear, organizational complexity, gate keepers who see part of their role as insulators,  a focus on “ticking off items on the to-do list” or “this is how we’ve always done it” all contribute to keeping things running smoothly. And, can hinder finding the real problems.
2. Every organization needs detectives and firefighters. It usually takes as much (and sometimes more) critical examination, good will and principled disagreement to find the real problem as what we use to solve it. Asking “what hat are you wearing?” (detective vs. firefighter) is a quick way of getting close to the root problems.
3. Find the patterns first, then connect the dots. Know that old phrase— “I’m too close to see it”? Sometimes, the collaboration of people with very diverse backgrounds can find a problem far faster than if only experts are doing the discovery.  In my executive coaching work, when group trust has been built, I often serve as an observer of significant meetings. This outside “not knowing” pair of eyes often can more quickly “see” patterns, describe them and then facilitate the experts into finding the real problem.

There’s so much each of us knows. And so much we don’t. Stay tuned for round two of this subject, where I’ll layout a four square, all about knowing and not knowing. Seems like great August reflection to me.

Ever been given some “stretch goals?” Those of us who have ever experienced results-based compensation know them only too well. Usually, they’re “double-dog-dare you” expectations, significantly exceeding base expectations. A positive Pavlovian response, which supposedly triggers correspondingly strong results, is expected to result in a well-deserved, well-earned, “more money” reward.

Is your brain screaming out— “but that’s not what happens to me?”

Let’s turn to the realities of neuroscience. The brain, we’re now taught, works in a protective way, resistant to change. It’s wired to seek rewards and yet also to avoid pain or discomfort. Aubrey Daniels, the author of the great work OOPS! 13 Management Practices that Waste Time and Money, cites two studies:

• One that shows when individuals repeatedly fail to reach their stretch goals performance declines, not inclines, and
• A second, that notes fewer than 10% of people ever reach their stretch goals

And there are plenty more, equally negative studies. Schweitzer and Ordonez, authors and psychology professors who brought us Goals Gone Wild, identify negative side effects of stretch goals: attention focused on the wrong things, rises in unethical behavior, distorted risk preferences and even reduced intrinsic motivation.

What’s a person to do? The year’s half gone. Are you “not on pace?” Are the “ought to’s” eating you up? “Ought to be 10 pounds thinner, ought to be running 2 minutes faster, ought to have brought in more business.”

Is there an answer?

In my view, it’s the “ing.” That wonderful ending that brings us into what the grammarians call “continuous present tense.”

A stretch goal is a fixed object, with the rigidity of all or nothing.

A continuous present tense–i.e., adding the “ing” and now focusing on stretching–is all about movement, moving forward. It invites being in the moment of mindfulness, the belief in one day (or sometimes, a half day, or even 10 minutes) at a time. It opens us to explore possibilities, to realize we’re truly in charge of our own movement, to give ourselves hope and courage.

Stretching before running is what makes our movements more fluid. I often think of it as “revving up my engine.” It opens the doors to be-ing one, be-ing truly in the body, be-ing present.

Want to have a great second half of the year? Here’s to stretching.

Situations like these make decision making more difficult and more time consuming. When things seem too hard or emails too long, it’s all too easy to put something aside for a time when we can think about it. Unfortunately, a time that never comes unless we deliberately plan it.

Control to the rescue! Here’s three ways that work for me to uncomplicate work matters.

1. Offer fewer choices— whether it’s fewer service options to our clients, fewer choices in our employee 401k plans, fewer dinner choices for our families. Procter & Gamble cut back from 26 to 15 different variations of their Head & Shoulders line. Results: total sales volume increased 10%, and shelf stocking challenges were dramatically reduced.

Another example, have you felt overwhelmed in the toothpaste aisle due to all the options (whitening, baking soda, cavity fighting, mint gel, regular, enamel strengthening, etc.)? My husband switched us from being life-long Crest users to Colgate because he couldn’t find my favorite Crest toothpaste, due to so many choices on the shelf. Realize that when there are too many choices, you may lose out completely.

2. Put yourself on a word diet. In the Strengths Finder, three of my top five leadership strengths involve persuasion. No surprise, my emails have always included emotional language— which helps translate feelings that could be misinterpreted, AND, also can be too much for the “just give the facts” reader. My solution— bullets only. Emails at or under 100 words. Only one emotional phrase per email. And, clear directions about what (when and why) they should read it in the headline.

3. Avoid laundry lists; Instead, shape to do’s, meeting agendas, and, other typically way-too-long-lists into “buckets”. Break down complexity before you share it. If you create a meeting agenda list of ten things, try dividing into these three categories:

1.) URGENT and/or NDN (need decision now) to identify how to address the issues (decisions at the next meeting)
2.) Need discussion, and consensus on next steps and timeline
3.) Need direction.

a.) Can decision be made without discussion of this group
b.) or, if this group needs to make the decision, what criteria will be used?
c.) What’s the real deadline given the pace of everything else?

Within the last 24 hours, I’ve coached three very different clients, in three very different situations, on three seemingly very different challenges. In each one, we came out with the same underlying core issue.

Their questions:

• Why do people seem to treat one another badly in our office?
• Morale is so low… people are constantly using words like frustrated, overwhelmed. Am I wrong to think that “cheerleading” them out of this won’t work?
• People all around the office seem so stressed, so deadline driven, so “overwhelmed.”  How can we get back to feeling like we’re productive?

Answers: The pace of work has escalated, we’re staffed more thinly now, the Internet is compounding workplace complexity. All true. Instead of being literal about each presenting issue, I dug a little deeper and found one word that addressed them all. BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries are the invisible lines that help define roles, interactions and responsibilities in relationships. They create an understanding of what each of us is expected to work on, guide and/or produce. They define our interactions with co-workers and managers/supervisors, and, they help everyone see that drawing lines where none exist can often solve problems.  The boundaries we set for ourselves are perhaps the most important of all.

These days, I see a lack of at least some clear boundaries in virtually every workplace. Come along with me as I go back to my clients’ initial questions with a boundary lens on. Then, test my boundary questions around your world at work.

 1. Why do people seem to treat one another badly in our office?  How strong are your organization’s interpersonal boundaries? Does everyone at work know:

• What’s taboo language— swear words? All of them, or is a slipped “Oh, Shxx” okay?
• Would this be considered a degrading comment:  Are you late again? How many times do we need to put up with this? 
• What topics are “off limits,” always— discussions about sex, salaries?  What else?
• Is it clear that door slamming, walking out of meetings, talking behind people’s backs is not tolerated?
• Have people been coached into honest conversations, that are still respectful— example from a supervisor to a staff member: I would prefer if you not continue to be late for every meeting. It’s important to the organization’s productivity if we learn to be civil to one another.

 2. Morale is so low… people are constantly using words like frustrated, overwhelmed. Am I wrong to think that trying to “cheerlead” them out of this won’t work? How would the organization/division/group answer these questions about their own roles, responsibilities and expected results:

• Do I know, clearly, and have in writing, what is expected from me, who will evaluate its success and the criteria they will use to do so? 
• Do I know how to handle it when people (other than my “boss”) also give me responsibilities, who I should communicate with and how?
• Do I know how— and when— to communicate when I can’t do something?
• Have I been given a green light (and, if so, by the person with the authority) to ask for help from others?

3. People all around the office seem so stressed, so deadline driven, so “overwhelmed”.  How can we get back to feeling like we’re productive? Personal boundaries may be the trickiest — and the most critical of all. How would you, and virtually every person on your team, answer these questions about how you’ve set your personal boundaries?

• Have I personally, set and shared my communication preferences?  (examples: email #1,  will always answer within 24 hours; phone calls, unless urgent, never before 9:30— use early hours to set the tone for the day/week, complete tasks I’d love to procrastinate on, etc.).  
• Have I shared with others when I’m “available,” and when not? Does everyone involved with me professionally know that?
• Have I developed ways to refresh myself?
• Do I have “helpers” inside the organization who help me stay accountable to my commitments?
• Do I give myself permission to take time away from work? During a high stress day? On regular vacations/mini-vacations?
• Do I have a series of successful ways to communicate when I’m feeling overstressed, overburdened, overwhelmed? And, do I act on positive suggestions from others?

It is hard at work today. We can make it far easier on ourselves, our colleagues and our organization by understanding the power of boundaries and working hard to make those invisible lines more visible. Three clients have already enrolled in the process. What about you?

If you think the answer is “you’ll have more time to reach out to clients and potential clients, because everything matches”, you’re part-way there. But the real answer goes further. And, it has to do with three essential brand concepts (which, BTW, also apply to personal branding):  

• Being real.
• Staying focused.
• Creating value.

At What Matters, here’s how we apply those concepts to our use of social media…

Being real. People who know me well know that if they looked in my closet, it would be mainly black, white, and grey. They’re never surprised when they see me, and, while I might occasionally add a red scarf or shoes, they “see” me as a defined brand that only occasionally gets a little bolder.

I try to never wear clothes that could offend, or even annoy (wild colors, too fashion forward). My goal in how I appear is the same goal I strive for in using social media to connect: I want to be there for you, to bring something of value to your life… not to be all about mine.

Staying focused. We live in a swirling 24×7 world, filled with complexity. Black, white and grey strip things down to the essentials, and drive for simplicity. Ever since I started to tweet, “like”, and comment on others’ blogs, I’ve realized simpler is better. On a daily basis, discipline helps put me on a strict Word Diet, even with emails.

Creating value. For nearly 25 years, PPW (price per wear) has been a great tool in creating value every time there’s a potential wardrobe addition. An example: A black cashmere sweater, purchased on sale for $129 nine years ago has been worn at least once a week, from October through March. 26 weeks x 9 years= 234 wearing, creating a PPW of 76 cents! There’s value, eh?

To draw a parallel to creating value in social media. During the last year, we’ve spent at least 30 minutes a day on social media. We’ve been voracious readers and followers of big thinkers on business development, leadership and internal and external business communication.

Our e-newsletter subscription base has tripled, our LinkedIn connections are 6x what they were in 2010, and we’ve received two speaking engagements and one consulting client, all from social media. What’s more important to us is the feedback we get from readers of our blog posts, tweets  and updates, sharing even more ideas and introducing us to their excellent ideas.

While it’s true that perhaps five minutes of our 30 a day social media work is “earned” from not having to think about what clothes to put on, we’re convinced that using it has truly helped us be real, stay focused, and create value. And, that’s a style we have every intention of keeping.

Some years ago, as a member of the senior leadership team inside a Fortune 500 corporation, I was asked to lead an action team called the “Slowly Emerging and Unsatisfactory Business Group” (SEUBG—or “see you B-G” for short).

Our action team’s challenge was to cut to the chase— to see which of these companies had potential to become satisfactory and profitable, to discover if any would be more likely to succeed as independent entities in a more entrepreneurial environment, to determine if a cash infusion was warranted or to simply acknowledge the company had failed and needed to close.

The team was filled with a wide range of skill sets— from attorneys to financial analysts, from engineers to manufacturing gurus, from seasoned CEOs to serial entrepreneurs, from strategic planners (my role) to marketing gurus. Instead of going through routine monthly or quarterly reviews, we stripped the businesses down to the basics, and, working collaboratively with each business’ senior leadership team, came to a consensus recommendation about what should come next.

Today, as an executive coach whose emphasis is on growth, I’m constantly engaged with leadership teams trying to make those same kinds of rigorous decisions. More frequently, their “see you B-G” is more about identifying new ways to achieve Bold Growth, or creating new leadership strategies like Brave Guidance, or conducting campaigns designed to add new market segments that will produce Big Gains.

The successes of the original SEUBG and my current team leadership roles today seem to have the same drivers:

• Rock Solid Clarity. A team developed purpose that is meaningful to and owned by the team members. Shared understanding of the mission, individual and collective roles, timelines, priorities and outcome based performance goals.
• Collective Competence. The value of having a variety of skill sets— and styles— is, with the right leadership, what fuels meaningful participation, authentic relationships and solid decision making. The absence of difference, especially when combined with a command and control leader, is sure to negatively impact the end result— and likely to limit the effectiveness of the team.
• Mutual Respect, Mutual Accountability. It’s one thing to commit to being responsible for producing specific outcomes, on time. It’s another to recognize that our differences make us stronger, and, that dissension can actually fuel collaboration if it’s allowed to emerge in a respectful manner. The mutuality of both respect and accountability eliminates the potential for hidden agendas and narrows the possibility of making decisions purely to please the incumbent leader.

As I reflected on my SEUBG experience, I was reminded of how much I loved seeing the BeeGees, a British pop trio that turned rock, then blue-eyed soul, then disco. Their music blasted  its way through my early professional years and their messages tied directly in to this team leadership success concept. Whether Stayin’ Alive, Big Chance, Edison, or Wind of Change , listening to them then, and rehearing them now, makes me crave that rock solid clarity, collective competence and mutual respect and mutual accountability that helps leadership teams truly matter.

I’m curious— what does this SEUBG story make you think about?

Many of us grew up thinking “Leaders are the people in charge”. YES… but regardless of hierarchy, title, years of contribution, age or rank, there is someone that every one of us leads.  Instead of whining about say-one-thing-do-another politicians, or complaining about those on the org chart above us, how about if we start exploring how we lead ourselves?

Every birthday, I reflect on how well I’ve held to my principles, challenged my goals, and, lived in harmony with my beliefs during the past 365 days.

Throughout this examination and as I begin to plan for the next twelve months of my own self-leadership, I examine three categories:

• SEE. What can I do in the new year to “see” more broadly? How will I be more aware of how others are seeing their world— and me in it? In what ways can I push myself to see new vistas, to explore new horizons? Where in the past year has tunnel vision held me back from growing, and, how can I eliminate that in the coming twelve months?  

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” - Marcel Pagnol, French writer  

• FLEE. What habits or patterns would I be better off without? What can I pack in my “get it out of here” suitcase?  Maybe the deeply ingrained voice from childhood days, where my mother announced (albeit in a very sweet Southern voice): “There can be no fun, until the work is done.”  Perhaps the habit of procrastinating work that I’m worried about, or my feeling that I always have to be the one to make the decision? How about the “I deserve a cookie”, when the joy of that rich chocolate is fleeting on my lips but lasting on my hips?

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” – Bob Marley, Jamaican singer and composer

• BE.  Ever hear someone sing: DObe DObe DO? If we’re not mindful, we fill our lives with so much doing, there’s very little time— if any— for just being. For taking a walk with the dog that’s more than his “duty” walk? For reading something other than The Economist, Vanity Fair or the 10 business blogs we’ve convinced ourselves are “daily duties?” Being is just that— it doesn’t involve doing, but allows us to sit, outdoors by our favorite tree, on a meditation cushion, in a cozy chair with the cat and a cup of peppermint tea. Each year, I challenge myself: Try adding another 10 minutes a day to your “being routines.” That’s 5+ extra hours a month, more than 60 a year (and imagine what would happen if next year you added another 10).

“We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have—for their usefulness.” – Thomas Merton, writer

This year, when you celebrate your birthday, think about how you want to enhance the way you lead yourself. Make some commitments, get an accountability partner and let us know… how did following this See, Flee, Be model make a difference for you?

After all, they are the experts— they studied for many years, they’ve experienced applying this knowledge in multiple ways, over a long period of time,  and they’ve won countless awards and accolades.

Here’s the problem: all these professionals really want is to connect with the kind of people that would benefit from their expertise. But, when all they do is talk about that expertise, they’re pushing potential clients out of the driver’s seat, the only place from which decisions are made.

Consider the following example. Envision a CPA who has been referred by her brother-in-law to a business owner. She calls the company and gets a meeting with the business owner scheduled.   To prepare for the meeting, she packaged up the firm’s marketing materials.  At the meeting, she pulled out her laptop and started up the PowerPoint. “Our firm was founded 110 years ago; we’ve grown from two partners to 112. I’ve been with the firm for twenty years…”

What is the business owner thinking? “Why is she here”? Or  “Why should I care”? The sad part about this story is that what the business owner wants—someone who will help him better minimize his tax obligations— is her #1 talent. And what she wants— more chances to serve great companies—is what she just walked away from.

If she’d moved over to the navigator’s seat, she would have asked questions that explored the business owner’s needs.  She would have shifted her prep time and instead of creating yet another boring PowerPoint that was all about her firm, she would have framed a series of thoughtful, open-ended questions about the organization. She’d have written a game plan for the meeting, anticipated the business owner’s questions and drafted responses, and sent a draft agenda ahead of time.  During the meeting, she’d guide by asking more about his wants, his current situation and his visions of what could be better.  Roughly 15 minutes before the meeting was to end, she would have asked things like:

• What would need to happen before it would make sense for you to consider changing CPAs?
• What do you like about the firm you’re currently working with?
• If you were to make a change, what kinds of criteria would you use to make that decision?
• What would it take to earn the right to work with your company?
• What do you think might be our next best step?

When professionals are doing work for their current clients, most of the time they are— and should be— in the driver’s seat. When it comes to discovering possibilities of working with potential new clients, the professionals will be more comfortable and far more successful if they take the navigator’s seat.

We guide. They decide.

Don’t start with a laundry list of all the new things you’re going to do or concentrate on enhancing your marketing. It’s all too easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing (I call this the envy factor or the shiny object syndrome; think new marketing tactics, like making sure our website is on a mobile platform) and totally forget what really matters.

If what you really want is growth— for your business, yourself and for those your serve– start with this three part S.U.C.C.E.S.S. model:

1. Set Your 2012 Strategy With a True Understanding of Your Ideal Clients/Customers. In writing, answer the following four questions in 150 words or less. Show this to your top five current clients and see if they view the strategic direction of your company in the same way you do.

• Why are we in this business? What are we best at doing?
• Which clients/customers should we continue to serve, start serving or stop serving?
• Which products/services should we stop offering, continue to offer, or start offering?
• Why have we decided on these strategic directions?

2. Examine What has Worked. Be honest about this. The products/services that you offer need to meet the wants of those people/companies who fit your ideal client/customer profile. Just because something has “always been done this way” doesn’t mean that should continue. We’re well past evolution in today’s work world. Where should you start becoming more revolutionary? More cutting edge? What could you test (instead of what
could you copy)? As we think about what’s worked, also consider what didn’t work.

3. Leverage the Benefits of Working From Your Strengths With Practical Systems. If you haven’t read one of the many StrengthFinders books, I strongly encourage you to do so. Each book has a unique code that allows you to go online and learn what your own top five strengths are. Since many of us were programmed to “be the best” at everything, realizing what we really are best at is enormously valuable in
achieving authentic success. Likewise, having a systematic approach to that success is critical to consistent, high value growth. If part of your 2012 plans involves revenue growth, visit our site; it’s chock-full of practical tips, our EveryDayRain™ system, and plenty more.

Strategy. Understanding. Clients/Customers. Examining. Strengths and Systems. Success will come far easier with attention to each of these. Try it. And, let us know what worked for you.